Lily
Lily’s brain refused to settle for hours after she spoke with Shane. How dare he call to demand where she is? How dare he think himself entitled to her answer, let alone a conversation at all?
Of course, a conversation with Shane would turn into an argument, Lily thought, her flip flops slapping the paved paths that snaked around the botanical gardens. The hot summer sun cast dark shadows against the ground, but a merciful breeze drifted through the leaves, cooling Lily’s skin. She paused for a moment to allow its touch to cool her overheated body. An argument was all Shane was ever truly good for.
The sound of a screaming toddler ripped her from her scattered thoughts, her head snapping around toward the sound of the scream. A little girl, no older than three, scurried down the path, her finger outstretched toward one of the guard rails. She shrieked again, only this time it was the sound of excitement, and she pointed eagerly to something on the railing.
“Oooo, you found a caterpillar,” her mom cooed. “Can you say, caterpillar?”
“Capatilla,” the little girl replied, beaming up at her mom.
“Close enough.” Her mom smiled and pulled her daughter’s hand into her own.
Lily stepped aside to allow the duo to pass, her eyes unable to ignore the look of pure wonder and fascination dancing wildly across the little girl’s face. Every new thing she set her eyes on sent awe and delight seeping from every pore on her heart-shaped face.
“We’re from the city,” the mom said, following Lily’s gaze toward her daughter. “This is her first time really seeing ‘nature.’ I swear we don’t keep her locked in a basement.”
Lily giggled in response but didn’t offer anything more. All she felt was a deep tug in the back of her mind that reminded her of the innocence and playfulness she once had. Innocence that was ripped from her when she overheard her father’s conversation with his mistress, her playfulness following shortly after.
After she’d heard that conversation, it felt like a storm cloud settled in over her life. She pulled away from everything she loved and focused on two things: An impressive career and never becoming her mom. She changed. She analyzed every layer of her parent’s marriage and decided exactly who she would need to be to curate the perfect marriage. She poured into her appearance and persona and became exactly the kind of person she believed would never end up in a failing marriage. But, after all that work, and thought, and preparation, she still ended up with a broken heart and a life filled with lies and secrets.
“What is wrong with me?” she whispered, careful not to let the little girl or the mother hear.
You’re lying to yourself, she thought, turning down a rosebush-lined pathway in the opposite direction of the mother-daughter pair. You’ll focus on anything but the truth.
Lily felt like she was going crazy. How could she know she’s avoiding a truth without knowing what the truth was?
The path split again, one way leading toward the labyrinth and the other leading toward the sculpture garden. Lily opted for the quieter pathway, leading away from Brookgreen's popular sculpture garden and anyone that might distract her. Silence was what she needed so silence was what she would give herself. The map indicated that her current path would lead to a viewing platform; of what, she didn’t know, but she welcomed the thought of taking in the beauty around her while she dug through her brain for information she was certain didn’t exist.
The viewing platform was empty except for a cute couple flirting and giggling as they looked out over a dancing meadow of wildflowers and tall grass. They looked perfectly at ease, their bodies moving in rhythm with one another, as if through some conversational dance. Something about them felt light and easy, as if they were simply plucked from the picturesque garden specifically for one another.
Lily slowed her pace to watch them a bit longer. The man was tall with warm, dark skin and the most genuine, dazzling smile. When he looked down at the smaller woman, all Lily could see was pure adoration. It was as if nothing else in the world mattered except her, and he barely took his eyes off her as the pair stood on the platform. The woman was petite with light brown hair that sat at her shoulders, and Lily smiled at the sight of the overalls. Despite their disagreement, she really did miss her mom. The woman’s back was to Lily, but the way she leaned into the man, inviting him into her space and allowing him to be present with her, it was evident she cared for him too.
Lily kept her pace slow, hoping the duo would move on soon so she could take their spot on the platform and finally settle into her thoughts. The woman turned toward the meadow for just a moment before turning back toward the man, unable to keep her eyes off him for too long. But in that split second, recognition flooded Lily’s body, followed by the distinct feeling of seething rage.
What the fuck is my mom doing here? She thought, her hands balling into fists at her side. And what is she doing with a man who clearly isn’t Bob?
Suddenly everything fell into place – the only reason for the dwindling of Ruby’s desperate calls is because she was following her – and getting close. Did this woman have no boundaries? No trust?
You did get into a boat with complete strangers, she thought. Lily huffed at the memory.
Lily didn’t know what to do. But as she attempted to come up with a plan, she realized she hadn’t been able to drag her gaze away from the duo. Her heart softened as she watched the two of them a little longer; he paying close attention to Ruby’s every word and move; her, laughing with a lightness and ease Lily hadn’t seen in years. An ease she’d never seen.
Lily’s feet turned and she began the trek back to the front of the gardens. She could confront her mom, yell at her for following her all this way and for invading her space and her privacy, but Ruby could be very persuasive when needed, and Lily was not ready for this trip to be over. There was still work to be done.
Ruby
Zel’s eyes always seemed to dance when he laughed, and in the sunlight spilling across the colorful meadow, the gold flecks that peppered his eyes seemed ablaze. Ruby tried not to get lost in those eyes but coupled with his playful yet peaceful presence, she found herself completely consumed by him.
It was the only reason she said yes to visiting the gardens together. And it was also the reason she practically jumped into his arms when she realized that Lily was here, too. Though Zel had his opinions on Ruby’s desire to chase down her daughter, he seemed genuinely excited for her when they realized Lily was also in Myrtle Beach. They stared at the photo on Lily's Instagram for a few seconds before Zel said, "Well, what are you waiting for? Call here!" When Lily didn’t answer – of course – Zel offered to check every bar and restaurant at Broadway on the Beach. They even drove up and down the strip, searching parking lots for any signs of Lily’s car.
When darkness swallowed the sun and the sky was peppered with tiny glints of light, Zel quietly touched Ruby’s hand, softly suggesting they call it a night.
“Do you mind if I take a look at the photos again?” Zel had asked, and Ruby handed him her phone. “Tomorrow, we can wake up early and try to match the photo with its background before heading to the gardens. How does that sound?”
Ruby smiled and nodded. Zel completely disagreed with everything she was doing, but he was still there. Without blame or judgment or bickering, he simply honored Ruby's wishes and supported her journey.
~
A soft whisper of morning rain drizzled down the windshield as Ruby and Zel once again drove up and down the strip to find the matching background the next morning. They spent over an hour searching before Ruby felt the unmistakable and foreign feeling of laughter rolling through her body. It came out of her in short bursts at first, alarming both herself and Zel, before turning into full-blown euphoric belly laughter. Zel couldn’t help himself, his laughter soon mirroring hers, forcing them to pull over. The gravel crunched beneath the tires as they came to a stop in an abandoned parking lot.
“What is going on?” Zel asked through several steadied breaths.
“This is ridiculous, isn’t it?” Ruby finally asked, dabbing tears away from her eyes that had cumulated there during her giggle fit. “I mean, you’d think that I’d lost my five-year-old instead of my twenty-eight-year-old. It’s absurd.”
Zel remained quiet.
“Why are you doing this?” Ruby asked, shifting in her seat to face Zel. She had on a pair of blue jean overalls with a flattering white t-shirt tucked beneath. “I mean truly. You’ve already told me you don’t agree, so why sit here with me? Why waste your vacation helping me do something you oppose?”
Zel stared back at Ruby, watching as the laugh lines on the outside of her eyes faded and the crease between her brows deepened. The two sat in silence for several moments, Ruby steadying her breath and feeling an internal panic start to boil, Zel thinking carefully, choosing his next words with intention.
“I assume you want my honest reply,” Zel said. It came out like a question but he barely waited for her slight nod before he answered. “There are two answers to this question. The first is that just because I oppose your opinion doesn’t necessarily make my opinion right. It’s just that – an opinion. Your relationship with your daughter is clearly very important to you and you feel that this is the right path for you to follow, so my opinion doesn’t really matter. I just want to support you as best I can.”
An army of tears sat behind Ruby’s eyes, attempting to tear down the emotional fortress she’d built after the divorce. It wasn’t what he said that rattled her to core, it’s that she’s only really ever experienced two types of men: those that completely disregarded her opinions or those that barely paid attention to them – the “whatever you want, dear” attitude that drove her to the edges of her sanity. But this combination of disagreement and support, this was foreign.
“And the second,” she whispered the question, buying herself time as she continued to fight the internal battle with the tsunami of salty tears.
Zel’s lips curved into a devious smile. “The second answer is because I’m enjoying the journey. I know that may sound a little selfish, but I think you might be one of the most interesting women I’ve ever met. And, maybe, spending time with you is helping me become the man I need to be, but this time I’m realizing it’s not for Sarah, it’s for me.”
Silence sat like an awkward teenager between them, sucking the air out of the car. The tsunami that had just been trying to burst through her eyes turned around, flowed through her veins, and pooled in her belly: cool and calm and dying for someone to jump in. She lunged across the center console before her logic could stop her, her hands wrapping around Zel’s neck, pulling him closer as he reached up to caress her face, weaving his free hand into the hair at the base of her neck. The kiss was both full of need and passion, and weeks of built-up tension leeched from Ruby’s body as she allowed herself to be truly consumed by this kiss; lost in this one moment. It was the first time she’d truly allowed herself to lose control and when they came up for air moments later, she felt a tingle of something she’d long written off ever experiencing with a man: joy.
“Let’s go to the garden,” she said, slowly sinking into her seat and returning the seatbelt to its fastened position, as it was before she’d thrown herself across the car. She waited for feelings of guilt or regret to wash over her, but all she felt was a steady calm, the same steady sense of calm she’d felt each time Zel was near.
“Are you sure?” Zel asked, leaning back in the driver’s seat.
“I think I need a break from searching,” Ruby answered honestly. “And I could use a dose of something beautiful.”
Zel put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot as a smile curved around Ruby’s lips. Zel reached across the console, gently taking Ruby’s hand into his own, like two teenagers who’d driven away from home for an afternoon makeout session.
~
Now, standing at the overlook of the gardens, a beautiful meadow dancing in the wind, Ruby felt herself really breathe for the first time in months, maybe even years. She’d been so caught up in her worries and doubts and fears, that she’d forgotten what it was to be present. Somehow, in such a short time, Zel had given that back to her. And somewhere between the loosening in her chest and the fresh air in her lungs and the beauty around her, she’d forgotten almost entirely about why she was even there in the first place.
Zel reached down and plucked a small piece of grass from Ruby’s hair, allowing his fingers to linger for a moment in her smooth locks. The world seemed to stop for a moment, and Ruby looked at Zel as if she were looking at him for the first time all over again. She noticed a small scar above his left eye that she hadn’t seen before and the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth that told her that his life was filled with laughter. She noticed that his dark eyes were not so dark after all, there were hints of caramel and honey, with just enough gold to glisten in the sun.
A giggle bubbled up in her throat as she recounted their day: the stories he’d given to the statues in the statue garden and the way he emphatically discussed his need to adopt every animal in the small zoo. She smiled at the memory of his compassion when the adorable little girl all but yelled at him for almost squishing a beetle crawling along the walkway.
“Well, thank you,” he’d said, getting on a knee in front of the little girl. “You just helped me save a life. Good thing you’re the perfect size to look out for all the animals too small to speak up for themselves.”
The little girl smiled, and hugged her mom’s legs, and the moment passed without another mention of it.
For a moment, she felt herself question what was going to happen next, but she shook the thought away. She didn’t want to think about tomorrow or next week or next month. None of that mattered right now.
“I like this side of you,” Zel said, bringing his hand to gently lay on Ruby’s face.
“What side is that?” Ruby asked, tilting her head into his touch.
“This carefree side of you that enjoys the moment.”
He stepped into her space, closing what was left of the distance between the two of them. The flash of a young woman retreating from the lookout point broke into Ruby’s periphery for half a heartbeat before her lips were on Zel’s, her arms wrapping around his neck as his pulled her closer by her neck and waist. She understood why the young woman would flee – this was not a spectacle meant for a family outing. Still, Ruby couldn’t prevent herself from pulling Zel deeper into the kiss, allowing herself to truly feel the strength of his body as he pulled her into his own, to feel passion and desire pool once more in her abdomen, and allow her mind to run wild with thoughts of what they could do together next.
Zel pulled away for just a moment, keeping his grip firmly around her neck and back. “I love seeing who you are when you aren’t worried about everyone else around you. You’re beautiful.”
His lips found hers once more, but this time her thoughts stacked into a barrage of accusations and condemnations. What the hell was she doing? She wasn’t here for this – for a man she didn’t know at all. She was here to find her daughter. She was here to find Lily.
Ruby cut the kiss short, stepping out of Zel’s arms.
Worry splashed across Ruby’s face, shaking Zel from the high of Ruby’s uninhibited connection.
“What’s wrong?” Zel asked, searching her face for an answer.
Ruby pushed her hands through her hair, panic threatening to overtake every ounce of logic in her mind. “What am I doing?” she asked, but it was only meant for herself. “Being worried about other people – being worried about Lily is my job,” Ruby explained. “She’s my daughter.”
Ruby lifted her gaze to meet Zel’s, daring him to disagree with her, to push her further from her daughter than he already had.
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